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News coming from The Onion …

Single? Dating Coach Has Found the Answer! Simple Bath Technique to Find the Love of Your Life

Frankly I’m not at all totally certain that this information is factually accurate, but it obviously may seem to sound right, and I would love to know your thoughts about this story. Here is what they reported …

Relationship Experts Recommend Single Women Try Bathing In Open Stream Until Suitor Glimpses Them Through Trees

NEW YORK– Saying the strategy was certain to attract the most eligible men of the highest repute, relationship experts recommended Friday that single women frustrated with their current romantic options try bathing in an open stream until the ideal suitor glimpses them through the trees.

“Finding a suitable partner can be very difficult for women, but we’ve learned that one of the easiest and most effective ways to attract that special someone is to put on a thin white cambric bathing gown, wade into a sylvan brook, and begin washing your body and running your hands through your long, silken hair while humming softly to yourself,” said professional dating coach Priscilla Adams, adding that women should choose a location with a small waterfall cascading lightly into a natural bathing pool, where a man out riding his horse or returning from a distant war might catch sight of them from the stream’s wooded banks.

“After several minutes of bathing, you should see a mysterious, rugged presence fixing his steely gaze upon you, at which time we advise that you hurriedly wrap yourself in a woven blanket and call out ‘Who’s there?’ before being reassured by his kind face and inviting physique. This tactic is almost guaranteed to result in a satisfying romantic experience.”

Adams added that…

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How to Gain Power over Yourself and Others

All too often, in our lives we find ourselves being manipulated or influenced by other men, by women, and sometimes even by the damned television.

Of course, as a kid against a schoolyard bully, perhaps the only options are the Charles Atlas course, karate classes, or a tactful withdrawal. But in later life usually we’re not influenced by physical threat.


It’s done with words, with images, and with social pressure.

If you’re being influenced this way … what that tells you is that you DO NOT actually understand how it’s happening. Oh, you may have theories and opinions about those bad people.

But if you’re still being manipulated, either “having” to go along, or even resisting but feeling upset or angry about it .. then you DO NOT fully understand how it works.


If you wish to invest time to understand how it all works, then *you* can learn to influence people around you. You can control nearly every situation. You can attract people to you, and they will listen to what you have to say.

If you don’t wish to invest time to understand how it all works?

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How to Build Rapport

Rapport. Being ‘in sync.” In the same groove. Of the same mind.

That’s the way you want the girl to be. Right?

But your acting like one of the girls won’t get it. Though girls *say* they like “good guys,” what happens if you generate the “good guy” image is that you become a girlfriend of hers. Next thing you know she’ll be telling you about her romantic adventures, and expecting you to comment and commiserate!

That’s not what you want!

You’ve got to be a man, a guy with a life of his own, not too caught up with her too fast (or you’ll scare her away, because it’s happened to her before). Only then is she intrigued. But along the way, how can you build rapport, so she’s feeling close to you and feeling comfortable to get closer.

Here’s how …

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Breaking up is Hard to Do

You know the old song … “Breaking up is Hard to Do” by Neil Sedaka?

“Don’t take your love, Away from me
Don’t leave my heart, In misery
If you go, Then I’ll be blue
Cause breakin’ up is hard to do.”

Have you ever had the experience of breaking up with someone? For this discussion, let’s assume that it was *you* who broke off with her. (Getting dumped is another whole can of worms.)

For example, for some time you were kind of nattering inside your head. She did this, and she did that, and you didn’t like it. And she won’t do this other, and that’s just stupid. And, frankly, you’ve just had it up to here. And some other girl or girls are looking pretty good. And you need your freedom. And you need to move on.


And so then you said, “We’ve got to talk,” and you did talk and most likely that wasn’t much fun (though sometimes you feel a little power, you evil creature). And then she said something and you said something, and then later she wasn’t there with you and the two of you had broken up.

And then what happened?

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Inertia — How to Approach a Woman

Like most things in life, the things you do that actually work are usually very simple.

Usually you don’t need much help in noticing some attractive woman whom you would like to approach. It’s simple.

First you see her. You say ‘hubba-hubba!’ in your mind, and you know that you’d like to be closer to her. You’d like to be talking with her. You’d like her to be smiling as you speak. You’d like her to flirt with you. You’d like her to give you her number. You’d like to take her on a date. You’d like to take her home. You’d like to carry her into the bedroom-

Oops! Wait a minute. I got a little carried away. Maybe you got a little carried away, too.

But when you see her, and you start thinking these things, what actually happens?

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