[CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY]

I’ve been describing an excellent exercise for getting to meet some women, even if you’re way shy. This exercise makes it easy.

Summary: You go someplace with lots of women. You walk along the way, and as you pass each one you say something. But don’t stop; just keep walking. At the far end, turn around and come back. And now, with each one, practice starting up a conversation.

And the marvy thing is that they will nearly always chat with you, when it’s on your way back.

Here’s How it Works

Why would this work? Why will she almost always talk with you when you return?

It’s because when you return she thinks she knows you! You’ve moved yourself into the class of guy who she’s talking with for the second time. You see, women can be protective and cautious the first time they meet somebody, but they don’t usually have a habit of being so cautious the second time they’re chatting with somebody, and you’ve just moved yourself into that category.

Getting Beyond Shyness

The second wonderful thing about this technique is that it helps you get beyond shyness. If you’ve ever felt tongue-tied in the past, this method is great. You see, there’s so little to lose, since you’re walking away. And if you say something so dumb that the sky should fall … who cares? And if you’ve spoken to a half-dozen women, you can blow it with five and still meet somebody, and that ain’t bad!

Using this particular method in the hallway at San Francisco State, on that particular morning, I met Barbara A., the writer, but that’s another story.

[CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY]You’ll recall that this is a fun exercise which gives you a way to get over shyness fast, and you started it by going someplace where there are a *lot* of women. Step two was you went walking up the hall, and as you passed various women, you say something to them (anything!), but then (important step three) you keep walking past!

Step Four: When you get to the far end of the beach or the hallway or the street fair, or whatever the place is where there are lots of women, now you turn around and you come back.

Step Five: Now you’ll again encounter the woman. This time, on your way back, you again say something to her. But the difference is that this time you strike up a conversation, and in due time you ask her for a coffee date or whatever the next step is. If she won’t talk with you, head on back to the next one. But the surprising is that she will nearly always talk with you … on your return trip.

Here’s How it Works

Why would this work? Why will she almost always talk with you when you return?

[CONTINUED TOMORROW]

It’s because when you return she thinks she knows you! You’ve moved yourself into the class of guy who she’s talking with for the second time. You see, women can be protective and cautious the first time they meet somebody, but they don’t usually have a habit of being so cautious the second time they’re chatting with somebody, and you’ve just moved yourself into that category.

Getting Beyond Shyness

The second wonderful thing about this technique is that it helps you get beyond shyness. If you’ve ever felt tongue-tied in the past, this method is great. You see, there’s so little to lose, since you’re walking away. And if you say something so dumb that the sky should fall … who cares? And if you’ve spoken to a half-dozen women, you can blow it with five and still meet somebody, and that ain’t bad!

Using this particular method in the hallway at San Francisco State, on that particular morning, I met Barbara A., the writer, but that’s another story.

San Francisco State, 1972: I’d read a book about how to pick up girls. Actually, it was about how to get laid, and was entitled “Scoremanship”. I cannot recommend the book for its attitude, but it had this one magnificent technique for meeting women.

Step One: You go to someplace where there are lots of women, such as a beach, or in this instance in the halls of San Francisco State on a busy busy day such as registration.

Step Two: You walk up this beach or hallway, and whenever you see a woman whose looks you find pleasing, you say something. It can be anything, no matter how stupid. The important point is that you’ve spoken to her.

Step Three: No matter what her response, you keep walking past. Don’t stop and talk. This is a key point.

[CONTINUED TOMORROW]

[CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY]

Summary: The Law of Havingness states that each person establishes a certain level of ‘havingness’ for any commodity. This is the level that they’re continually comfortable with, and if things change, they’ll tend to unconsciously change their situation until it’s back at the comfortable and familiar level.

It doesn’t matter that you might be complaining about a low level of women, or of money; if the current level of ‘havingness’ for women, or for money is low, then that’s what your current mental state expects and finds familiar, and you’ll tend to maintain that as a mental ‘comfort zone.’

So to boost your level of women, for example, start going out — all the time — with anybody. This new level will become your new ‘havingness’ level, and now the real fun begins.

Remember, again, that you are engaging in this activity — all the time — in order to increase your internal, automatic ‘havingness’ level. It’s a fair amount of work, so don’t do big productions. Go out for coffee. Go to the library with someone. Go to the laundromat. Keep it simple. Do this for a few weeks and watch what happens.

What results will you get?

It’s quite surprising. Suddenly, mysteriously, attractive and interesting women will begin to fall out of the sky. You can’t go to the parking lot without bumping into several. At least, it will seem that way. And, they’ll start giggling and smiling at you.

Now, start asking them out. You’ll discover that much of your normal clumsiness will have vanished! You’ll now find it surprisingly easy. You have changed something internally; the world looks different. Without trying, you have stepped outside of the former illusion.

But don’t make the blunder of stopping your program. For now, continue going out all the time. You’re not done yet. This simple and pleasant exercise is what’s building your internal, automatic havingness level. Keep that going for a while, because even more attractive women will show up the next week! Further, the longer you run this program, the more “permanent” it becomes.

You see, without even worrying about the cause of your internal programming, you have changed it. The old program, the old restricted-havingness level, cannot stand against the evidence of your eyes, your ears, and your other senses. When you actually see yourself going out frequently, your internal program will change immediately and automatically. No psychotherapy required. Call it magic. Call it human nature. But call it; and it will come.

When you try it, you will see.

Havingness — how to Have what you want — a concept that opens any area of your life where you’d like to have more. You’re now seeing more of what you’d like to see. Why? Because, knowing how to look, you begin to see. Learning to see, there’s a lot to like! This is a workable map.

Do you want things different? Follow this map.

You will see.